Because working with JDE CAN be funny.

We’ve all been there. . .the user who thought their computer died, only for someone in IT to determine that, yes, it’s pretty hard to work when your PC is UNPLUGGED. Or how about the user who panics when a message comes on the screen that says “Job Terminated”, thinking this means a trip to the unemployment line? And what help desk hasn’t received a frantic call asking “Where’s the ‘any key’? It’s saying to push it and I can’t find it!!” Face it—those little moments give us some much needed comic relief in what can otherwise be a fairly stressful work place. They give us tales to tell around the water cooler and watch as our colleagues’ eyes get big with disbelief, before they double over in gut-splitting laughter. Now, we want to hear from you. We want you to share with us, and your fellow readers, some of the stories that have given you, or your colleagues, something to chuckle over (and over and over again).

Here’s an example of what gave us a giggle here at JDEtips:

“A consultant tells us that one of his clients asked him if he had ever accidentally entered a sales order in the production system, instead of the test environment. He thought it over, and said, “Yes, I might have done that.” The client then said that they had shipped the product and the customer had paid for it!”

Here are the rules:
  1. Keep it G-rated.
  2. Don’t use names of the not-so-innocent.
  3. Keep the story under 200 words.
  4. Have fun!

Stories can be submitted to Colleen Low Larkin at Colleen.Larkin@ERPtips.com (subject line: “JDEtips Funny Stories 1”). Our editorial committee will review all submissions and pay $50 for each submission published in JDEtips Journal.

Additional Humor from JDEtips:

You're working on a JDE project.  Stress levels are high.  You only have 4 weeks left before going live.  The team is starting to get on each other's nerves.  People are tired, cranky, and generally humorless.  Sound familiar? Its time for a JDEtips humor break!

A few words about the type of humor we are looking to promote at JDEtips is probably a good idea.  Let's try our best to keep the submissions on the positive side, without any negative or inappropriate references.  Thanks!

And now...on with the show!

There is such a thing as too much security!

I was working with another consultant about 3 years who recommended to a client to implement *PUBLIC *ALL Action code security but neglected to tell them to give themselves the ability to change Action Code security first.  The result was that no one could do anything at all, anywhere! 

Rather than DFU the Security file, the client had to reload JDE from scratch.

-- Alex Rippingale, QS Software

The Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Stay With Us As We Implement JDE:

10. You love it soooo much! It’s the center of your life.

9. Your spouse LIKES you being gone all the time.

8. You don’t have to worry about what to do with all that extra time after work and on the weekends.

7. Leaving would destroy the close bonds that have formed between team members.

6. Conceptuals are challenging and bring a greater understanding of how the company doesn’t do business.

5. Documentation highlights our success of completing a project and has absolutely no correlation to the conceptual.

4. Life without meetings would be meetingless…

3. The company is moving forward and your part of it!

2. It looks good on your resume.

…and the number 1 reason why you should stay on the JD Edwards project…

1. If you left now, you’d miss Phase II.

--Alex Vogan, e-Commerce Administrator, Apio, Inc.

That's $1 for hitting the key, and $99 for knowing which key to hit!

The Phone Rang , 'What are you doing to the system?' came the urgent voice on the end of the phone, 'I have not been able to enter orders into the system since morning tea time'. It was now around 10 -15 minutes after morning tea. I checked the machine and could see no problems, I looked at the job it was sitting in display wait status. 'Can you Inquire?', 'Can you return to the menu?' , 'No, No' came the reply. So rather than walk down to the dispatch area I rang our mobile response support person, he walked in to a hero's reception after hitting the reset key.

--Jim Powell, Mercury Marine, Australia

OK, so where's my commission?

A consultant tells us that one of his clients asked him if he had ever accidentally entered a sales order in the production system, instead of the test environment.  He thought it over, and said, "Yes, I might have done that."  The client then said that they had shipped the product and the customer had paid for it!

--Andy Klee

Uh oh, job over...

Suddenly, one of our Colleagues cracked over the phone unhappily ,'how can you end my job immediately without giving me advanced information'

What he was seeing on the screen was 'Job Ending Immediately' due to system time out since he had not pressed any key for a long time !!

Implementing World financials in multiple locations...

I received a call from a remote user that there were no dollars on a financial report. I ran the same version locally, and started walking the user through the report column by column. Finally, as we were nearing the right hand side of the page, the user said "Oh, someone must have put narrow paper in the printer."

--Emerson Snider

Having fun with DREAMWriter

A World client was having problems working with DREAMWriter version lists. Option 1 worked fine to run a version, but whenever Option 9 was selected to see the detail, the version seemed to disappear.  (Editor's note:  For you EnterpriseOne types, option 9 deletes the version.  If you still don't think this is funny, I guess you had to be there!)

--Emerson Snider

A real question submitted to a JDE User Group

"My company is searching for some way to print 4 part forms (like waybills and invoices) in a laser printer."

--Name withheld for his own protection!

When I was on the JDE Response Line early in my career...

I had a couple of favorite support calls.  One was from a client in Atlanta who called in to complain that "One of your purge programs isn't working."  I asked if he had a job log and he said no.  I said "Well, you're not giving me much to work with."  His response was "That's okay, that file was empty anyway." (rimshot)

The second memorable call was from a client telling me that one of the function keys (form exits for the EnterpriseOne folks) was not working on the Summary Availability screen.  He was trying to see the open purchase orders for the item he was inquiring on.  I was able to determine that the Purchase Order Inquiry program was not on his system.  I then asked, "Did you buy the Purchasing Module?"  The conversation ended rather quickly when he admitted that they had not bought Purchasing.  

--Andy Klee

Send us your stories and we'll put them up on the web.  If you are like me, something funny happens every day.  Take a few minutes to cheer up the rest of us!  Humor@ERPtips.com.

Our SAPtips Vice-President and Managing Editor, Jon Reed, is co-author of Resumes From Hell.   This hilarious book takes a  closer look at those IT resumes that cross all our desks on their way to the circular file.

Some resumes are good, some are bad, and some are simply from Hell. In this illustrated "how not to," Jon Reed and Rachel Meyers share highlights from the worst (and funniest) resumes they ever received. Jon and Rachel take the reader through more resume mishaps and job search meltdowns than they ever knew existed, sneaking in a bit of job search wisdom on the fly. Resumes from Hell is proof that truth is still stranger - and funnier - than fiction.

See sample chapters and purchase Resumes From Hell, here.

 

 

 

 

With the high price of gas, ingenuity has become a necessity.

What do you call a Texas Motorcycle?

A COWASAKI !!